A new chapter

I have been told I should write a book.  I would love to write a book but I really have no idea how to do that.  But if I did write a book I would be writing the end of a chapter.  Not the end of the first chapter, just an end to a chapter.  I am getting a Hysterectomy. This decision has not been an easy one for me.  I have struggled with this.  Not because I wanted more children, I am pretty sure that I am maxed out.  It's just so definitive.  I used to pray when I was in my teens that I would be blessed with many children.  I always knew I wanted 8 children.  I would pray that someday I would have 8 children. (I got a bonus, woo hoo!) My sister struggled with infertility and I saw the pain she endured.  It was a concern of mine that I too would struggle with infertility.  Well I had quite the opposite.  I never had trouble getting pregnant.  I had more trouble NOT getting pregnant. I was beyond grateful. So when my doctor told me that he thought a Hysterectomy was something I should really consider I was shocked.  In a way it was nice to know that medically I was done having children but in another way it made me so sad knowing that I was done, really and truly done.  I feel like I am being led to the next chapter.  I have nine healthy, active and needy children.  They need me. And I need them.  I need to focus on their upcoming years.  I am excited and anxious for this next chapter. I enjoy my kids. I love each one of them and am grateful for our large, crazy family.  I prayed for this.  Tonight Chad and I went to the Temple and did sealings.  It recomfimed to me that I am making the right decision.  Heavenly Father has guided me every step of the way, I have had him involved with every decision.  I never make a big decision without the help and guidance of my Heavenly Father.  I am blessed to feel his presence and am grateful for his love.  I know I am doing His Will. I am grateful for a loving husband who stands by my side and who is "One" with me.  I love him.  He is wise and is faithful. I have been blessed with a strong, obedient, God fearing man by my side.  I am grateful that he is in these chapters of my life.  He makes me laugh every day.  I am so in love with him.  So here's to the next chapter.  I am scared.  I am nervous.  Having babies is all I have known for the past 16 years.  And I am forever grateful for the past 16 years.  It's time for me to begin the next chapter.  

 The Timpanogos Temple

Tricks of the Trade

I have been thinking about my life with twin boys and I have come to realize that I have learned some new and creative ways to parent.  While most of my friends are off exercising, going back to school, studying or doing the next great DIY project I am living in my days of mothering two two-year olds and a three year old while my six other children are at school. I am learning and discovering great "tricks" that keep this momma (somewhat) sane.  For example; this morning I discovered if I keep my bedroom cold enough when I get Chayce and Chandler up for their diaper change and chocolate milk they get chillled and want to snuggle under my covers and watch Bubble Guppies.  So that gives me at least an extra 20 minutes in my day until they warm up enough to come out and start playing/exploring/messing etc. My next discovery was today as I was leaving Costco.  I had my groceries loaded and was on my way home (in time to meet my preschooler) and decided to get my boys a kids meal from Chick Fil A. (It was Friday after all) .  I handed the boys their bag which at this point I had dumped the nuggets as well as the fries all in the bag and took out every thing else.  So all they had to do was reach in and pull out either a fry or a nugget (don't judge, I LOVE their nuggets), plus it cooled off the incredibly hot french fries in a jiffy.  I unloaded all my groceries while my boys sat in their carseats eating their lunch.  As they finished their bag of fried yumminess I gave them their chocolate milk that came with the kids meal.  That gave me enough time to put my groceries away.  (Granted it was a beautiful fall day, not at all hot and I left the doors to the car open so they were plenty cool.) When I got them out of their carseats and brought them into the house my Costco groceries were all put away without any extra help and my two darlings were full and happy from their lunch and ready for naptime.  It was almost magical. I have also learned that if you buy trucks for the boys make sure that even though the package of  trucks from Costco comes with 6 trucks (each getting 3) buy two packs of them.  BECAUSE there is only ONE tractor in this package.  And you must have two tractors to be happy.  Two boys+Two Tractors=Happy Momma!  See I am becoming so smart.  Another smart mom of twin boys tip...Buy lots of footie PJs and Safety pins.  Safety pins fasten nicely under the pull of the zipper when you zip up the jammies so they can not zip off the jammies and get naked and make messes and so forth.  When it is summertime and the temperature gets warmer here is the easy solution to footie jammies...cut off the footies and the long sleeves (yes they may look quite rediculous but I promise you, it  wont matter) but really, don't try to have them wear any other jammies because the zippers create much less mess in the long run, if you get my drift. (sometimes it's stinky!)    If you must put the boys in any other jammies besides the footie jammies make sure you have plenty of duct tape on hand.  And make sure when you are duct taping the diaper that you tape the entire waste of the diaper.  If not, they can pull off the the tape or get their partner in crime to assist them in pulling off the tape.  You may not discover this until morning...And let me tell you that you will have quite the "mess" on yours (and theirs) hands.

You are so welcome for these tips!  You may have already discovered them for yourselves if that is the case then shame on you for not sharing them with me,

Because I am thinking I am pretty brilliant.

LIFE IS GOOD!

Mommy Crazy?

Wow, wow, wow!!  You know the debate, which is worse the terrible twos or the terrible threes?  Lets just say as a combination...its AWESOME!  Seriously to have two two year olds and a three year old is both challenging, not super fun all the time and unique!  No matter what, there is always someone screaming, someone mad because he didn't get to close the door first or find the wipes before the other one or maybe just maybe got the last cookie (Heaven Forbid, we must always have three cookies left or NO ONE gets a cookie!)  It is absolutely exhausting, frustrating, hilarious and amazing all at the same time.  Have I mentioned diapers?  Not only do I have three in diapers (I have had a kid in diapers for 15 years straight, never a break between...now that's funny). I cannot keep my twin's diapers on. We have to duct tape them, put a onesie on backwards over the taped diaper and then clothes over that.  And 85% of the time they still get naked.  The other day I put them to bed for a nap.  An hour later they were still talking and laughing so I went in their room to see what was going on.  Not only did Chandler take off his soaked diaper but he managed to tear out the layer of the diaper that has the little crystals that absorb all liquid and threw those things all around the room.  It was every where.  So it wasn't like he peed on the floor it was like he peed on the ROOM!  We have gone through so much lysol that I should be getting a large discount from the company.  I have gone in their bedroom numerous time to find them both asleep, totally naked.  They have destroyed the blinds in their room, torn board books that we have had for 15 years that have lasted through 7 other children, to shreds.  I don't know what it is with twin boys, or maybe it's just my twin boys but they are partners in crime, so incredibly independant and they never cease to amaze.  I am grateful I had them last.  I think I have a lot more patience than I would have if they were my first.  I don't sweat the small stuff, it's just stuff. They make me laugh, a lot.   I love them to pieces!  They melt my heart. They love me, they love each other, they love their siblings.  They talk really well and are full of energy (I think we already established that).  They are like little parrots.  They copy everything I say and repeat it over and over, always  in the form of a question.  They love to say "Mommy Crazy?"over and over and over again.  All because I say "You make mommy crazy!"  When they are awake it is GAME ON!!  There is never a moment that you cannot know where they are.  They are busy and curious and nothing stops them or gets in their way.  They can climb, they can open and they love lotion.  The other day I came into my room to find Chayce covered in my Cetaphil cream, head to toe. And when he say me he said "Mommy, lotion? Lotion?" Because they always repeat things twice.  Never a dull moment.

  For FHE we built them a sandbox.  They love this sandbox.

 After dumping an entire container of salt out onto a cookie sheet.  They had fun with this for a long time. 

 Look who we found at Target?

 Basketball with Dad

(dad is amazing with his multi tasking skills, talking on the phone while shooting hoops)

 New hair cuts

 Chayce and Chandler climbing into the refridgerator and pulling out eggs.  

 I couldn't resist!

Reading to each other

I get to hike

Where do I begin, I have gotten so far behind.  Why you ask?  I have two two year olds, a three year old and seven other children.  My brain is fried, my nerves are shot, my tummy is full, my smile is big, the tears are flowing and

 the laughter is booming. 

 LIFE IS GOOD.

Chayce and Chandler turned two in January. So most of my days consists of sippy cups being drunk or being thrown at me, crackers being sucked on, chewed up and spitted out, poop in the shower, duct taping diapers,

kissing owies, chasing to get an object, usually a phone out of one of their hands, running down the sidewalk while they run faster ahead, seperating two (sometimes three) wrestlers, wiping marker off of  faces or walls, cutting up hot dogs and grapes, cuddling when they let me and breathing a sigh of relief when they are finally asleep.  Being willing and happy to do it all over again the next day.  My days are full.  My nights are restful.  I am grateful for the times they lay on my shoulder and allow me to stroke their heads.  I love these little guys.  I love all my little guys...all nine of them.  

Some days they make me crazy, on those days I am grateful I get to hike or walk.  Yes, I am blessed to be able to hike my beautful mountains once a week or walk down my favorite path.  I am grateful I have breaks and opportunities to catch my breath.  I have a wonderful husband who allows this and is always making time for me. This is my saving grace.  This is why I can do what I do. What a blessed life I have.  Days get crazy, busy, overwhelming but I know that I will get a break.  What an enormous blessing that is.  It makes it all okay.  It gives me the opportunity to sit back and count my many blessings, to feel human and to just breathe. 

 I am grateful for my life.

My house is too small.  My dryer is broke.  My kitchen water faucet only runs 50% and leaks.  My deck needs repaired.  My Max doesn't have a bed.  But I am happy.  I am grateful.  I get to laugh every single day.  I am healthy.  My kids are healthy.  My husband is wonderful and he has a job and he loves me.  I have friends, lots of really good friends.  I have a testimony of my Savior Jesus Christ.  I love life.  

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself.  Sometimes I look at others wishing I was them or I lived like them.  Sometimes I think I want to be something different. I wonder if I will ever not have three kids in diapers.  But then I think, "oh no, someday I won't have three kids in diapers." I remind myself daily, TIME AND SEASON and THIS TOO SHALL PASS and SOMEDAY IM GOING TO MISS THIS.  So I sit back, hold my babies and thank my Heavenly Father for all that he has sent me and trusted me to do on this earth.  I am one lucky lady.  

And I am grateful.  

Puke

Just had to throw in a quick funny...So we put the three little guys to bed.  And since there are no beds just mattresses in their room, they sleep pretty close to each other.  It had been only about 20 minutes since we put them to bed when we could hear three year old Nicholas yelling to us from his room.  "Mom, come here!" we then said "Nicholas, go to bed, it's time for sleep."  He then said "But mom, THAT baby just Threw up on THAT baby".  The joys of being a twin (or a sibling who shares a bed) ha ha ha.  Unfortunately the one that got thrown up on was in a dead sleep.  Oh the joys! 

LIFE IS GOOD

poop

Do you ever have days that are just...poop!  I look like poop, my hands constantly smell like poop, I have already just today by noon  changed 5 poopy diapers, so my house looks like poop and smells like poop. Days where there is Peanut Butter on your computer keyboard and your big behemoth of a car gets stuck on the ice that is about 4 inches thick on your driveway and when you do get it out it gets stuck in the elementary school parking lot and there they are again...the looks. "Not sure what to say but I am so happy I am not you, love you though".  I am feeling very overwhelmed thses days.  My house is shrinking and my kids are growing.  I am feeling like "the little old lady who lived in a shoe".  There is no where for big kids to go for privacy or little kids to go for naps.  I have no place for any "me time" and by that I mean to change my clothes and go potty.  I was told when I was in my youth that in times of feeling unappreatiated and overwhelmed to go and "count my blessings".  Sigh.  This is one of those times.  I know I have been blessed.  I continue to be blessed. I can't believe how much I have been blessed. But it's hard.  Life is hard.  Kids are hard.  Mothering is hard. But it's all good...really it is.  I pride myself on being positive and optimistic.  Just not today.  Today is a sad, feeling sorry for myself kind of day. A day with lots of tears for no reason. I am not sure what Heavenly Father plans for me or when.  But I do feel something really good is on the horizon...but good things are happening now, every day.  I am feeling unsettled and that usually means something is looming and it's up to me to open my heart, quit pouting and let it in.  Just not today...today I am frumpy, dumpy and sad and that is going to have to be ok.  

Terrific Twos times Two!!!

Wow, I have a lot of catching up to do.  

These two little monkeys, crazies, stinkers, etc.have made me laugh, cry, laugh, cringe, sigh, gain weight, laugh, worry and have worn me out!!!  I love them.  They are sweet, funny, crazy, loving, cuddly, happy, mischievous, best friends and two of the funnest kids around.  There is not a day that I don't thank my Heavenly Father for the interesting life they have created for me, for our family.  

For Halloween I couldn't think of a better costume than 

Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the Dr. Seuss books.  I was the Cat in the Hat and Chad was the Grinch!  It was great, we got lots of laughs and funny comments.  Chayce and Chandler were pretty good sports about it.  Blue hair and all.

 I am getting braver at running errands with the three.  Nicholas, Chayce and Chandler love to GO!  We don't go very often but when we do it's fun for all!!

 Church continues to be an AWESOME experience.  Every week is different.  Some are better than others, but what is consistent is that they love to go!  They do enjoy nursery, just not at the beginning.  They cry every time for just a minute and then they love it!  

 Chayce is often found feeding Chandler.  They love Chips and Guacamole.

 Christmas was fun.  They hated Santa Clause.  Liked their toys and LOVED the candy.

 They both continue to torment their big brother Nicholas.  In fact for Nicholas' birthday we told him that he could have a morning with out his brothers.  We let him lock himself into his bedroom and play with his new toys.  The boys were not happy about this.  But Nicholas SO deserved the "alone time".

  

A big mile stone that happened was...NO MORE CRIB!  And no more bed for that matter.  We had to get rid of the cribs because the babies were crawling out of them and it became dangerous.  So now they have a room with just mattresses. All three boys share this room and it is a PARTY every night!  They lay next to their door and yell "mooommmmyyy or ddaaaaddddyyy" which echos through out the house.  Or they kick the walls, over and over and over again (while laughing hysterically.   It's awesome!!

But eventually they fall asleep...ahhh how cute!

 They recently celebrated their 2nd Birthday!  I can't believe how time has flown...most days.  Now I have Two Terrible Twos.  We love them and the "life and energy" they bring...most days.  

 I have come to realization that my "clean" house will have to wait, my exercise and weight loss will have to wait, my quiet and calm home will have to wait, my decorating dreams will have to wait...and it's all 

Worth the Wait!!

Milestones:

They both are talking so much more.  Words they say:

 Bye Bye

Cookie

Cracker

Thank you

Love you

CRAP (oops)

Uh Oh

Mess

Baby

Chayce, Syd, Tyler, Kalli, Rae Rae, Max. Ma Ma (Grandma), Daddy. Mommy. Tara, Stacey, 

Jump

Owie

Stinky

night, night (which usually means they want milk)

juice

Walk

Car/Truck

NO!

Sometimes they will combine these words into sentences.  

They do lots and lots of giggling, laughing, wrestling, head stands, kisses, cuddles, loves, jumping, stomping and eating.  They LOVE Peanut Butter and Chandler LOVES anything sweet.  They really are sweet boys who are so happy!  They bring lots of joy and fun into our home.  So grateful for the last two years.  I can't even begin to imagine what the next years will bring.  BUT it will be AWESOME I am sure.  

Blah Blah Blah

Seriously some days I think that there is no way I am going to make it! Today was one of them.  Chayce has taken up hitting.  He likes to hit and thinks it is funny when I get angry...grrrr!   So this afternoon I was talking on the phone to my sister who has had the most unbelievably worst year of anyone's life.  And all of a sudden Nicholas smacks Chandler in the face with a car so Chandler is screaming, I get super angry with Nicholas so he starts screaming and then Chayce comes and smacks Nicholas and I get mad at Chayce and he starts screaming...remember I am still on a phone call with my sister.  Sigh.  Well if nothing else these occurrences didn't make my sister's life seem SO bad to her and probably made her a little happy for her problems.  (not really, what she is dealing with really stinks)  

Chad has a new job.  He loves this job.  This job requires him to do a fair amount of traveling, that is the down side of this job.  It's really hard for me to have him gone, he helps me out SO much and I love his company. The kids miss him too when he is gone, in some of my kids eyes he can do no wrong (gag) and I can do no right.  I am okay with that.  On the days he is gone it's a lot of work for me.  Getting kids fed, ready for school.  Scripture study, family prayer, carpools, cleaning (what little gets done), chasing, disciplining, homework, fixing meals (tonight is was Dominos Pizza) and bedtimes. Chayce and Chandler are harder in ways and easier in other ways.  They play with toys more but get easily bored and want to move on to something else, like hitting.  They wrestle and chase each other until someone trips or someone starts hitting.  They fight over toys (reminder to never buy one toy, always by two of the same toy)  They LOVE to go "bye bye" and so does mom but where do you go with two babies in tow?  By the time everyone goes to bed, I am EXHAUSTED!! And that is when I am reminded of how blessed I am.  When I walk through my quiet house and check on all my sleeping kids, it's then that I think, "I can do this".  HA!  And then morning comes again and I am slapped in the face with reality.  I love my reality.  Sometimes I wonder if I am doing anything right and sometimes I just give myself credit for putting the same amount of kids to bed that woke up that morning.  

We LOVE Garbage Day!!!

Sick Sunday Babies

I am sitting at home while most of my family is at church.  I have three sleeping babies, one who is not feeling very well.  It has been over a month since I have been able to attend all of my church meetings.  I miss it.  I miss sitting with my children, I miss the association I have with members of my church.  I miss feeling the spirit of testimony, the Gospel and the good people (friends) who I get to see by attending church.  I am grateful for these three little stinkers who I get to stay home with. I am grateful that I am trusted to care for them, love them, laugh with them and hold them.  I know that this is my "time and season" to care for babies, not travel with my husband (as much as I would like), I don't get to exercise at my leisure, or do as I please for myself.  Instead I am changing LOTS of diapers, kissing "owies", cutting up apples, cleaning up mess after mess after mess, doing countless loads of laundry and sometimes getting them folded.  My babies are growing, growing very quickly and I know that I will someday miss there sweet hugs, slobbery kisses, silly giggles and their innocence.  I am forever in awe at the trust my Heavenly Father has put in me.  There is a lot of responsibility in caring for children.  I have nine of them that I must teach correct principles, be a good example to, love unconditionally, build their self esteem, discipline, encourage, correct, and make sure that they are happy.  It gets overwhelming.  But I am not asked to do this alone. I have an amazing partner at my side who is my strength, my support, my best friend.  I am grateful that my children are blessed with a loving, caring daddy who amazes me daily with his guidance, sacrifice, energy, happiness and unconditional love. 

 I am blessed.  I am grateful.  I am happy.

Life is Good

We moved the babies into Nicholas' room.  So now it's one big party!!  I am so surprised at how well they all do.  The first night they were in there and we put Nicholas to bed he said "GET THOSE OUT!"  But every since then they have loved it.  They talk and giggle for a while before going to sleep and then again when they wake up.  I think these three will be pretty good friends for life.  
(I still have decorating to do in this room)

I have learned this to be true, what a wise woman Sister Hinckley was.

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.”

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Naughty but I love em!

I know it's been a while since I have posted.  I cannot believe how unbelievably crazy life has been since my kids all got out of school.  It's crazy, I'm crazy.  Having all nine kids home has been...EXHAUSTING!!  The oldest five have swim team every morning starting at 6:30 AM and we go full speed from there.  I haven't been able to exercise one day this summer, I have no time for me...I really miss exercising and I was doing so good.  I will just have to be ok with starting again once school gets back in session and being ok with the pounds that I have put on because of the lack of "me" time.  Time and Season for everything! (I tell myself that a lot!)  

We are a big family.  There are lots of us.  Our house is feeling incredibly small as of late.  My kids are getting bigger.  Their friends are bigger.  I have always wanted to have one of those homes where the kids want to hang out.  That was the way it was when my big kids were little.  We had everyone over all of the time.  Not so much as of late.  The big kids like to go else where, where there aren't so many babies and where they can have some space.  That makes me sad.  We recently moved the babies out of my closet (finally) and into what used to be the computer and TV room.  Now that is no longer available for the big kids.  That is why it has been so long since I have posted...babies sleeping which means no access to the computer.  I really want a bigger home...like really, really bad!  I think I will get it someday, if I just keep thinking positively and have lots of faith.  (SMILE) 

 I love to bake, like really love it!  If I could do a side business I would bake treats for company parties.  This also comes in handy when you have a house full of kids and want their friends to hang at your house. "If you feed them...they will come!" I do believe that to be true!!!  Unfortunately I am an emotional eater/baker and when my house is crazy and I am feeling out of control or just lonely from lack of a husband (he is now traveling with his new job) I bake and I eat what I bake.  Sigh...I so wish I had my friend from high schools metabolism, she couldn't gain weight if she tried (Alisha).  NICE!

Now onto the babies.  They are out of control.  Seriously.  They are crazy little wild monsters who are so stinkin cute!  I adore them, they make me smile every day, many many times.  They are hard.  They are busy.  They are destructive.  They are funny.  They are STINKERS!!!  Chayce and Chandler are now climbing anything and everything.  I have to keep all of my kitchen chairs laying down on the ground, if one chair is left up than a baby (usually Chandler) is dancing and clapping on the counter tops.  When they are in their highchairs they have to be buckled in at all times or they will stand on their trays. I have found them on top of the piano, the computer, they climb into each others cribs.  They dump out everything.  I have baskets with shoes in them, they dump them out at least three times a day.  You cannot unload the dishwasher if they are awake or they take off with the silver ware (knives) and run crazily through the house giggling.  I love these two little Turkeys, they make me crazy but I love them!!!  I get NOTHING done.  NOTHING.   They started nursery last week and did great, the first day.  Then the next Sunday came.  We made it through the Sacrament and then all heck broke out on our bench.  I had two babies and a two year old all fighting over a piece of candy and my lap.  So I walked out with crying kiddos and a lot sweat.  Luckily I belong to the greatest ward on earth and met my home teacher as well as my visiting teacher in the foyer.  One took a baby, one took a two year old and I had the other baby.  Next it was on to Nursery.  I had high hopes because of the week before.  Not so much.  Chandler screamed and screamed and screamed.  There was no consoling him.  So they found me, and Chayce, Chandler and myself headed for a nap at home.  Better luck next week.   Just thinking about a next week makes me tired and my stomach hurt.  I just have to laugh. 

 Sister Marjorie Hinckley said "I could either laugh or cry, I prefer to laugh, crying gives me a headache!" 

 AMEN SISTER!!!

The boys are growing up quickly, too quickly.  Chayce is talking more than Chandler is.  Chayce says cracker, go, stop, mama.  Chandler just giggles and whines.  He is my whiner and complainer.  They crack me up.  They will look at each other and just start giggling.  I love it.  When they are in their beds I can hear them chattering and then they start cracking up. It's hilarious.  So unique and so fun!  I cannot believe how crazy life is right now, I am hoping that I can start feeling some control soon.  I think that some of that control will come when I get a bigger house. (Positive thinking!) (Grass is always Greener, etc)  Nothing is in the works right now but I am "putting it out there" and praying really, really hard that it happens soon.
Life is Crazy.  Life is Unpredictable.  Life is Busy.  

Life is Good!!!