Warning: Random post with occasional whining and venting
(I am posting this so someday when I am an empty nester, I will look back, laugh and REMEMBER these days with a great feeling of accomplishment...I made it and so did they!)
This month has not been a good one for the boys. They were sick for about three weeks of February. First with Diarreha and Throwing Up then they finished up with croup. Poor little guys. And poor mom! There were a few days I was changing up to 12 diapers a day!!! It is hard handeling one sick baby but two? Oh my heck, there were days where all I did was sit on the floor and hold babies because they didn't want to play just to be held by mom. Then Nicholas decided that he was NOT having that. He has a hard time when I hold the babies, he makes sure he squeezes in between them and lets them know that I am HIS Mommy!! Oh the joy! There were many days the tears would flow from all four of us. I just didn't feel like there was enough of this mommy to go around. I felt like my older kids were not getting any attention from me because all I have done is care for and hold sick, tired babies. But in my mind I kept telling myself "this too shall pass, enjoy the holding and cuddling now because soon enough they won't want to cuddle any more" so I just sat and cuddled and cried.
(In the middle of the "sickness" our 15 year old washing machine decided to quit working correctly. So we have had to head over to my mom's house to wash clothes while we wait for a part to be shipped so Chad can attempt to fix our washing machine, while he is at it he needs to fix the downstairs toilet, the garbage disposil, fix the deck and the kitchen faucet. "Handiness" doesn't come easy for Chad. Neither does the time to do it right now. He has been so slammed at work and Bishoping he just hasn't been around as much as he or I wishes.)
Have I told you I want to redo my house? Yup! Doesn't that sound like fun in the midst of my mess and babies? ( I can see my mom cringing right now) I think it sounds like a project...I like projects. I want to paint my kitchen cabinets. I want to brick my island, I want to paint my walls and get rid of everything outdated (so everything). I want my walls to look clean and new. I want my house to feel clean and new. But this sounds almost impossible right now. I know, I know right now my life is all about the babies. I love that. I really do, I just wish I didn't feel so outdated and closterphopic in my own home. So I sit, hold babies, reread my "Life is Good" sign and look at PINTEREST for all sorts of fun ideas for my future home. I just have to remind myself...Time and Season.
Not only does my house need updating but it needs to be cleaned...DEEP CLEANED. There is not enough hours in the day to care for three babies, make dinner, bandage bloody knees, run carpools, take kids to swim lessons, horseback, scouts, Young Womens, basketball or whatever the sport may be at the moment. Make sure kids are dressed (appropriately), clean, teeth brushed, homework done, hugged and kissed, scouts, clothes washed (now I didn't say folded or put away), shoes and socks found and happy and listened too. Where in the world am I supposed to fit in deep cleaning?? I barely fit in a shower for me and sometimes I get dressed. Saturday cleaning happens every week by the kids but I am talking DEEP CLEANING. Sigh. I need a cleaning lady. I deserve a cleaning lady. Not to do the kids jobs, no they need those to grow up and become responsible adults (work in progress) but for MY jobs! I am really hoping someday soon Chad can make a little more moolah and a cleaning lady can be put in my budget...please pray for that!
I know I am. I know my mom is.
LIFE IS GOOD
it really is!
"You do not find the Happy life, You make it"
-Camille Eyring Kimball
