I have been told I should write a book. I would love to write a book but I really have no idea how to do that. But if I did write a book I would be writing the end of a chapter. Not the end of the first chapter, just an end to a chapter. I am getting a Hysterectomy. This decision has not been an easy one for me. I have struggled with this. Not because I wanted more children, I am pretty sure that I am maxed out. It's just so definitive. I used to pray when I was in my teens that I would be blessed with many children. I always knew I wanted 8 children. I would pray that someday I would have 8 children. (I got a bonus, woo hoo!) My sister struggled with infertility and I saw the pain she endured. It was a concern of mine that I too would struggle with infertility. Well I had quite the opposite. I never had trouble getting pregnant. I had more trouble NOT getting pregnant. I was beyond grateful. So when my doctor told me that he thought a Hysterectomy was something I should really consider I was shocked. In a way it was nice to know that medically I was done having children but in another way it made me so sad knowing that I was done, really and truly done. I feel like I am being led to the next chapter. I have nine healthy, active and needy children. They need me. And I need them. I need to focus on their upcoming years. I am excited and anxious for this next chapter. I enjoy my kids. I love each one of them and am grateful for our large, crazy family. I prayed for this. Tonight Chad and I went to the Temple and did sealings. It recomfimed to me that I am making the right decision. Heavenly Father has guided me every step of the way, I have had him involved with every decision. I never make a big decision without the help and guidance of my Heavenly Father. I am blessed to feel his presence and am grateful for his love. I know I am doing His Will. I am grateful for a loving husband who stands by my side and who is "One" with me. I love him. He is wise and is faithful. I have been blessed with a strong, obedient, God fearing man by my side. I am grateful that he is in these chapters of my life. He makes me laugh every day. I am so in love with him. So here's to the next chapter. I am scared. I am nervous. Having babies is all I have known for the past 16 years. And I am forever grateful for the past 16 years. It's time for me to begin the next chapter.
The Timpanogos Temple
